Changing

So sometimes I write poetry (or my form of it) to express my feelings. Below, I have attached entered two poems... the first, describes where I was a year ago, and the second, was written a couple of months ago. Hope you enjoy and are encouraged.

COLD & EMPTY

Cold
Why can't I feel it?
Empty
Why can't I be it?

Why must I feel this pain?
Why must I feel this anger?
Why won't it go away?
I just don't want to feel
Anything, anymore

I just want to be cold and empty
So that I don't get hurt ever again
How do I make it happen?
The alcohol, takes it away
But it always comes back
The laughter, takes it away
But it always comes back
The love of the children, takes it away
But the hurt always comes back

Just make it go away.
For good
Make it stay away
Make my heart never hurt again
Make my mind not have a thought
Of why… again

Why am I not worthy enough
Not pretty enough
Not smart enough
Not young enough
Not strong enough
Why am I not enough?


Finding Everything

Walking aimlessly through life
In this world of loneliness
Seeking love and guidance
Searching for eternal bliss

Finding misery and hurt
Finding lies and deceit
Finding paths of emptiness
Everywhere I place my feet

Wondering why things are
Wanting things to change
Wishing things were easier
Trying to find my way

Until one majestic day
A message was shared with me
About a love that’s everlasting
And that elusive element of peace

A message of hope
That I’d been waiting for
Drifting through this life
Knowing there had to be more

The answer was always there
Only I was too blind to see
The answer was the King
Of the highest Majesty

The message was clear
Jesus gave his life
For me to live eternally
And leave behind the strife

The message was powerful
Filled with mercy and grace
About my savior’s dying
Dying to take my place

My Holy Father was waiting
He was calling me all along
Wanting me to find His love
Wanting me to see I belong

I am in His arms now
His peace and joy abound
He is my comfort and my solace
My Everything has been found